Keeping Your Styles Straight: A Cautionary Tale
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Each of these strategies can easily backfire if you misread the style of the person you’re talking to.
Imagine that you are an (I)ntegrator with an (E)ntrepreneur boss. All your life you’ve tried to resolve conflicts, so when a problem comes up, what do you do? You go and talk to all the relevant people, you resolve all the conflicts, and then you go to your (E) boss and say, “Boss, we had a problem, we all met, we all agreed what the problem is and we all agreed what the solution should be. Now we want you to approve it.”
How is the (E) boss feeling? He’s probably sweating. He’s thinking, “My god, this guy is building a revolution behind my back. He’s trying to execute a coup d’etat against me. My staff never told me about the problem, they just went into a back room and discussed it without my input; they came up with a solution, and now they’re trying to force me to approve it!”
An (E) will never forgive you, and he will never forget. At the first opportunity, he will fire you. This is a frequent problem for (I) types: They try to build a consensus, they encourage participatory management – and they end up getting fired by (E) bosses who feel threatened by that style of management.
If you don’t know someone very well and are not familiar with his typical working style, what should you do? Ask what job he performs. Look at the organizational chart; that can tell you a lot. If this person is in marketing, you can expect him to be (E)ntrepreneurial. If he is in sales, he should be (P)-oriented, a (P)roducer. An accountant will very likely have an (A) orientation.
You can also find telling clues by looking at his office, his desk, how he dresses, his posture, his energy level. In other words, be sensitive to and observant of the other person; watch his reactions to your comments; and adapt your style to his so that you can communicate to him clearly.
Knowing whom you are talking to and how to talk to them is essential for success in management and, I believe, life in general.
A good manager, who is by definition a well-rounded person, should be able to communicate with anyone, of any style. It is like knowing several languages. You can’t insist on speaking English in Rome and then complain when people don’t understand you. In Rome, you’ll behave as the Romans do if you want to influence people and be respected.
But now we come to another problem: If adopting the “language” of the person we’re talking to is the only way to communicate effectively, then how should we behave when we’re dealing with several different styles simultaneously, how do we manage meetings?
Let’s talk about that in the next chapter.
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